The Attorney's Favorite Joke
A man has been charged with SA and is having a meeting with his attorney.
“Well,” says the attorney, “I’ve seen the prosecution’s evidence, and we need to decide whether we’re going to go to trial or plead guilty. This is a very serious matter.”
“Yes, I realize that.”
“It’s so serious,” says the attorney, “That I like to lighten the mood in these situations by telling a funny joke. Stop me if you’ve heard this. A man is lost in the desert, dying of thirst, when he spots a man on a camel. Please stop me if you’ve heard this. He runs to the man on the camel and begs him for water.”
“Is this the one with the neckties?”
“Hold on, hold on – the man on the camel says, ‘I don’t have water, but I do have neckties! Buy two get one free!”
"Yes, I’ve heard this one. He gets to the oasis and a tie is required."
“Let me finish. But stop me if you’ve heard this. The thirsty guy says, ‘I don’t need a tie! I need water! Okay, says the tie salesman, you drive a hard bargain. Half off all ties, just for you!”
“Please stop. I’ve heard this.”
“And the guy says, “I don’t want your damn ties! Just tell me where I can find water!"
“You can stop.”
“The tie salesman says, ‘Fine. Just go two miles north; you’ll find an oasis. Plenty of water there.”
“For God’s sake, stop, I’ve heard this.”
“He gets to the oasis and is about to jump into the water, but he’s stopped by a guard.”
“Yeah, yeah,” says the attorney’s client. “The guard says: ‘Sorry, you can’t come in. Tie’s required.”
“You’ve heard this? Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I did tell you to stop. I told you, like, a dozen times, and you didn’t!”
“And that,” says the attorney, “is why you’re fucked.”