Building with the Most Stories
What building has the most stories? The library.
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🧒 Kids Jokes
Kids jokes should be simple, clean, and actually funny enough that adults do not mind hearing them too. These are the kinds of jokes that work at school, around the dinner table, or whenever someone says they want a joke everyone can hear.
If you want something wholesome and quick to share, this is one of the safest corners of the site.
Computer Goes to Art School
Why did the computer go to art school? It had a lot of bytes to express.
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Piano Lost Its Keys
How did the piano get locked out of its car? It lost its keys.
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Hailing Taxis
Is there anything worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
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Crayons Want Attention
Why did the crayons go to school? Because they wanted to draw attention!
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Dancing Socks
Why did the socks start dancing? Because they had too much sole!
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Parents Disagree on Origins
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" Father: "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies." Child asked mother: "How were people born?" Mother: "We were monkeys then evolved." Child: "You lied to me!" Father: "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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Bird That Can’t Fly
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can’t fly." Student: "A dead bird, sir."
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Johnny’s Logic in Class
Teacher: "Three ducks on a fence, shoot one, how many left?" Johnny: "None, they flew away." Teacher: "No, two, but I like your thinking." Then: "Three women with ice cream, which is married?" Johnny: "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking."
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Wedding Math Joke
Two boys were at a wedding when one of them leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?"
His friend answered,
"Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer. “
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Boy Who Loved Tractors
There was a farmer's boy who loved tractors; went absolutely crazy for them. As he grew up, his bedroom was littered with tractor toys, wallpaper, ornaments, you name it. At the end of every school day, he used to go to just outside his father's farm and watch the tractors roll by. It was safe to say he knew what he wanted to do for a career: "twactor dwiver" he would always say as a child.
His 10th birthday rolled around, and there was a peculiar looking present awaiting him in the living room. It was a dog - a puppy at that! It was love at first sight for the boy. Now, at the end of every school day, he'd take his puppy for walks across the fields and farms where the tractors drove. His bedroom was now being shared between a love of tractors and dogs.
The dog had just turned 8; the boy was taking him for a walk, after college at the usual time across the usual field. He stopped to look at the sunset just appearing, until he heard a distinct and loud YELP! followed by the sound of a tractor engine. He gulped and looked down - to see the mutilated remains of his dog, mauled by a tractor. He didn't know what to feel, anger? Devastation? Betrayl? Either way, his first thought after "oh my god that's my dog's corpse" was "I need to drown my sorrows", and he headed to the local pub.
Upon arrival, the pub was closed - how could the day get any worse, he thought. The landlord was standing just outside, looking rather furious at a large amount of smoke eminating from the chimney.
"How come's you're shut?" asks the boy.
"I'm not sure" replies the landlord, "there must've been a problem in the kitchen, because loads of thick smoke backed up into the rest of the building".
"Mind if i take a look?" - without a reply from the landlord, the boy enters the pub to be greeted with an enormous amount of smoke. Not seemingly bothered by it, he takes a very deep breath. The amount of smoke noticeably reduces.
"Whatever you're doing is working, lad!" exclaims the landlord. The boy inhales again, and again, and again and gradually the smoke in the pub reduces to nothing. The landlord rejoices and enters the building; "Amazing! Drinks are on the house lad, anything you want! One question though: how on earth did you pull that off?"
The boy looks unsure for a second, but then replies - "Im an extractor fan".
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Using the Word Harassment
A teacher asks her students to use the word HARASSMENT in a sentence.
Bob stood up and said, "I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me."
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Robot Lunch Box
What did the robot pack for lunch? Micro-chips and dip.
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Moon Homework
Why was the moon bad at homework? It only did it at night.
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Sunflower Student
Why was the sunflower a great student? It always looked on the bright side.
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