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Relationship jokes stick around because everyone recognizes at least a little bit of themselves in them. Dating, marriage, misunderstandings, and daily couple habits all become funnier when they are exaggerated just enough.
This page leans into the small, familiar moments people laugh at because they feel a little too real.
So a guy is sitting at a bar looking dejected. The bartender says, "What's wrong, buddy?"
The guy says, "My wife is divorcing me."
"Why? What happened?"
"Well," says the guy, "my wife said, 'If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.'"
"So?" says the bartender.
And the guys says, "Apparently, 'anything' doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."
A man finds his wife in bed with another dude.
Furious, he asks his wife, "WHO IS THIS?!"
The woman, completely unfazed, replies:
"This is the man who paid for your children's school, the renovations on the house, the nice car I bought that you use to go fishing with your mates, and the one who helped you land that well-paying job last year. What do you have to say about that?"
The husband looks at the man for a moment, then shouts:
"COVER HIM! DON'T YOU SEE HE'S GETTING COLD?!"
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her personal trainer
Me : Well, this isn't working out
What do you call it when your wife doesn’t let you “score”?
A clean sheet.
A woman has two handsome admirers. One of them is a doctor, and the other is a deaf guy. Every day, the doctor gives the woman a rose. And every day, the deaf guy gives her an apple.
One day, the woman says to the deaf guy: "Hey, that doctor friend of mine gives me a rose every day, and I get the symbolism of that. But why do you give me an apple a day?"
And the deaf guy says, "WHAT?"
What’s the difference between a mistress, a hooker, and a wife?
The mistress says “Oh honey! More! Deeper!”
The hooker says “Come on! Faster! Time to go!”
The wife say “Beige! Beige! I’m going to paint the ceiling beige!”
A wife desperately tries to prove to her husband her illicit affair is over. He'd already forgiven her, but still hadn’t spoken to her in days. The only thing she could think of, is that he must still not trust her...
In a last ditch attempt to convince him, she cut her ex-lover’s obituary out of the newspaper. Her affair ended long before the accident, but she thought this would ease her husband’s mind once and for all.
“You see.” she told him. “He was struck by a drunk driver.”
Her husband smiled and replied, “I wasn’t drunk.”
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