👨 Dad Jokes Jokes

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

What did one plate say to the other? 'Lunch is on me!'

What did 0 say to 8? 'Nice belt.'

How do you make an egg roll? You push it.

What do you call a nose without a body? No body nose.

Why did the man bring his watch to the bank? He wanted to save time.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.

How do you hire a horse? Stand it on a ladder.

What did one fish in a tank say to the other fish in the tank? 'Do you know how to drive this thing?'