🧒 Kids Jokes

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are in their bedroom. "You know what, I think it's time we started swearing" said the 7 year old.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you."

"Sure." replied the 4 year old.

They make their way downstairs and their mum asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"I'll have frosties, bitch"

WHACK, he flew out of his chair crying his eyes out.

Mum looks at the 4 year old and says sternly "And what do you want?"

"I don't know, but it won't be fucking frosties"

A kid was sent home from school one day. Dad asks what for.

Kid says "Teacher asked what three times four is, and I said twelve."

Dad says "but that's correct."

Kid says " I know, but then she asked what four times three is."

Dad says " What's the fucking difference?"

Kid says "That's exactly what I said!'

Why did the teddy bear not eat dessert? He was stuffed.

What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.

What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.

What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing. Bananas can’t talk!

Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.