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Latest 10 jokes

These are the newest jokes added to Daily Joke, sorted from newest to oldest using the latest imported build data.

Every day Johnny walks by the

Every day Johnny walks by the same group of prostitutes on his way to school. Every day they say "Hello" and wave their pinky fingers at him.

One day Johnny stops and asks, "Why do you always wave your pinky fingers at me?" One replies "Because that's how big we think your penis is."

The next day as he's walking to school, and the women say hello, waving their pinkies. Johnny turns to them, puts his fingers in his mouth and stretches it as wide as it will go, while saying "Hi ladies!"

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A man and a woman who

A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....He in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own fucking blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

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Two old ladies were sitting on

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat came up and flashed them. One old lady immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.

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"What do you call a nun

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."

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A guy walks into his bedroom

A guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying on the bed reading a book.

He says: "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache."

She says: " I think you'll find that's actually a sheep under your arm."

He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

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What do you call a lesbian

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickallotofpuss

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Lady calls the fire department, says

Lady calls the fire department, says her house is on fire. Fire dept says

"How do we get there?"

She says

"How about that big red fuckin truck you drive all over the place?"

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A man’s walking home late at

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell.

They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said the man, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”

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There’s a way one can easily

There’s a way one can easily light up a soccer stadium.

That’s with a soccer match.

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Why does someone who runs marathons

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!

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