A guard in a Russian jail

A guard in a Russian jail goes to the library and sees an old Jewish political prisoner reading a book.

"What are you reading, old man?" asks the guard.

"I'm learning Hebrew," says the old man.

"Why bother?" asks the guard. "You'll never get to Israel. You will die here."

"I'm learning Hebrew so when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham," replies the old man.

"How do you know you're going to heaven? What happens if you go to hell?" asks the guard.

And the old man says, "No problem. I already speak Russian."