Daily Joke Logo

Joke library

All Jokes

Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.

The Zoo Gorilla Replacement

A Famous gorilla at a zoo in Denmark died , conseqently the zoo started losing money , for He was a crowd puller.

To make matters worse , they have no natural population of Gorillas in Europe ,so they hired a man to act as a gorilla with a well crafted suit.

He entertained many and the profits were rolling in , one day though as he was performing his antics , He fell into the lion`s enclosure and started screaming for His life ... save me! ... save me! , then the lion slapped him and whispered in His ear stop or we'll both get fired.

Share this joke:
💼 Work Jokes
- Daily Joke

Caught in Bed with an Explanation

My wife came home early and caught me in bed with a beautiful woman!

She screamed:

“You filthy pig! How can you do this to me — to the mother of your children?! We’re getting a divorce!”

I said:

“Honey, please… just let me explain!”

She crossed her arms:

“Fine. Talk. But these will be your last words.”

So I told her:

“Look sweetheart… When I got off the bus, I saw this poor lady. She was freezing and starving, and she asked me for help. How could I ignore her?

I brought her home and gave her the pizza you didn’t eat last night because it was ‘too greasy.’ She devoured it.

She was filthy, so I told her she could take a shower.

While she was in the bathroom, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I gave her the lingerie I bought for our anniversary — the ones you hated because they were black. I gave her a pair of your jeans you never wear just because my mom bought them. Then I gave her that shirt you didn’t even unpack because it was from a cheap store.

Honey… you should’ve seen how happy she was. She was glowing.”

"I walked her to the door. She turned back, tears in her eyes, and said ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?"

“And as you can see… here we are. In bed.”

Share this joke:
💞 Relationship Jokes
- Daily Joke

Dog and Cat Argument

A dog and a cat are having an argument about which is the favorite with humans.

The dog says:

- Humans like us more; they even named a tooth after us, the canine. Naming and important body parts proves they like dogs more.

The cat smiled and says:

- You know, you are not going to win this one

Share this joke:
🐶 Animal Jokes
- Daily Joke

Using the Word Harassment

A teacher asks her students to use the word HARASSMENT in a sentence.

Bob stood up and said, "I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me."

Share this joke:
🧒 Kids Jokes
- Daily Joke

Walking Backwards at the Cemetery

Sue went to the cemetery every day to water the flowers on the grave of her late husband, Bob.

When she was finished, she always walked backwards as she left the grave.

One day, her friend Tammy asked, “Sue, why on earth do you always leave the cemetery walking backwards?”

Sue smiled and said, “When Bob was alive, he used to tell me, ‘You’ve got such a great ass, it could bring a dead man back to life!’… Well, I’m not taking any chances!”

Share this joke:
💞 Relationship Jokes
- Daily Joke

Grammar Corrections Gone Wrong

My wife gets really turned on when I correct her grammar. Whenever I do, she says, "I want to fuck you!"

Well, to save time she omits the first three words, but I know what she means.

Share this joke:
💞 Relationship Jokes
- Daily Joke

What She Really Says

My wife loves having sex with me!

Everytime I walk by or hear her talking about me to her friends, I always hear her say, "What a dick!"

Share this joke:
💞 Relationship Jokes
- Daily Joke

Socrates and My Roommate

Socrates once said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
My college roommate must have been a genius — he knew nothing about everything.

Share this joke:
🏛️ History Jokes
- Daily Joke

Get one good joke in your inbox

If this page made you smile, let us send you the next one.

Join the Daily Joke newsletter and get a clean, quick joke of the day by email.