Split Personality
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
- Daily Joke
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Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.
Flamingo Impersonation
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- Daily Joke
Fruit Flies Like a Banana
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Computer Crash
I told my computer I needed a break, and it said 'No problem — I’ll crash.'
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Boomerang Fear
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
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Eyebrow Surprise
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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Seafood Diet
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
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Vasectomy Consultation Surprise Joke
At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, "Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!"
Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get undressed.
- Daily Joke
Dermatologist Rash Decisions Joke
A friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.
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Paranoia Book Library Joke
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They’re right behind you."
- Daily Joke
Coffee Spoon Eye Pain Joke
A patient goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, every time I drink coffee, I get a sharp pain in my eye."
The doctor says, "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?"
- Daily Joke
Good News Bad News Doctor Joke
Doctor: “Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?”
Patient: “Give me the good news.”
Doctor: “You’re about to have a disease named after you.”
- Daily Joke
Everyone Hates Me Doctor Joke
Patient: “Doctor, everyone hates me.”
Doctor: “Don’t be ridiculous. Not everyone has met you.”
- Daily Joke
Ringing in My Ear Joke
Patient: “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ear.”
Doctor: “Then whatever you do, don’t answer it.”
- Daily Joke
Broken Arm in Two Places Joke
Patient: “Doctor, I broke my arm in two places.”
Doctor: “Stop going to those places.”
- Daily Joke
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