Help Check Her Balance
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
- Daily Joke
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Browse every joke on Daily Joke in one place, with clean jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, animal jokes, work jokes, and more.
Shoes from a Drug Dealer
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
- Daily Joke
Worst Zoo Ever
I visited the worst zoo today. It only had 1 dog in a cage. It was a Shit-zu.
- Daily Joke
How to Make Holy Water
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- Daily Joke
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Difference Between Light and Hard
What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on
- Daily Joke
Alzheimer’s Light Bulb Joke
How many Alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?
To get to the other side
- Daily Joke
Mugged by a Coffee Cup
If someone hits you over the head with a coffee cup, have you been mugged?
- Daily Joke
Mozart's Ghost
A week after Mozart died, his ghost was discovered trying to erase his music. When asked why, it said "I'm decomposing."
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Why Do Elephants Have Four Feet?
Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant.
- Daily Joke
What's Grey and Comes in Buckets?
What's grey and comes in buckets? An elephant.
- Daily Joke
Nuts on a Wall
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts
What are nuts on a chest? Chestnuts
What are nuts on a chin? Blowjob
- Daily Joke
Joke About a Pizza
Wanna hear a joke about a pizza?
Oh never mind its too cheesy.
- Daily Joke
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The First Sign of Senility
The first sign of senility is loss of memory.
I forget the other two.
- g
Why Pirates Are Called Pirates
Why are pirates called pirates? 'cause they arrr!
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Dad's Blindness Warning
Dad says to his son "son if you don't stop masterbating you'll go blind" the son says "dad I'm over here"
- Daily Joke
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